Unless caught in the act, it can be difficult to notice if a child is being bullied because children aren't known to tell on their bullies. Children are less inclined to let parents know they are being bullied because of various reasons. Some want to be able to handle the situation autonomously, some may fear they will be labeled a snitch, while others are worried about the bullies reaction.
If you notice that a child has started to take on self-destructive behaviors such as cutting, has a declining interest in going to school, unexplainable injuries, and developed feelings of helplessness and depression, it could be due to bullying.
If a child comes to you looking for bullying advice:
- Tell the child to try not to react or respond to the bully, just keep a calm composure and walk away.
- If that does not work, the next step would be for the child to become assertive with the bully. Tell them to make eye contact and make a strong statement such as "If you keep harrassing me, I will report you to the principal/teacher." Making strong, confident statements can defuse the situations and discourage the bully.
- If the bullying persists, talk to their teacher or principle about it. It may upset the child if he/she wanted to solve it by themselves, but it is better to have the child in a safe school environment.
In my opinion it shouldn't be about stopping the bullies because there is only so much adults can do. Some kids are just mean and will find more sly ways to bully others if they are being watched. I think instead we should focus on teaching children how to cope and see their own self worth. You can find bullies in every aspect of a person's life, from the bully on the play ground to the boss you report to. If we learn as children to better cope with bullying it will only serve to help us later in life. Of course this only applies to verbal bullying, physical bullying requires direct action to protect a child from harm.
ReplyDeleteI used to get bullied when I was younger by my older cousins and many children in school due to the fact that I was a tomboy, that I had exema on my face, which caused dark circles under my eyes I would always cry to my grandmother who would tell me that I was beautiful just he way I am. So to have that person who I felt comfortable to confide in and I didn't feel alone, defenseless and eventually my tomboyish ways paid off because I was a great athlete and my face cleared up!
ReplyDeleteI remember getting bullied on the bus in the second grade. Now this was about 30 years ago, so this area was not ethnically diverse as it may be now. A few of the older kids would repeatedly make fun of me, call me a "chink," and make ugly faces at me. Fortunately, no one put their hands on me, but I think this can be considered a type of bullying. I was always afraid to get on the bus. When I finally told my Dad, he waited at the bus stop with me one day. As soon as that bus opened its doors, he ran up into that bus so fast. I'm not sure what he said, but no one bothered me after that.
ReplyDeleteThis probably wasn't the best way to handle the situation, but at least I told someone and it stopped the bullying from happening. What I find interesting still, is how the bus driver never did anything about it. Everyone in the school system needs to be actively involved. Otherwise the kids will think it is okay to torment others and the behavior will continue and eventually escalate.